I have always fought with fear and anxiety around finances because of the struggles we had growing up, going through a bankruptcy and losing everything through divorce. I held onto my money with a very tight fist and was always waiting for the next bad thing to happen.
After leaving my job and while trying to finance our wedding I had experienced daily anxiety and panic attacks over finances. I felt trapped and helpless. Over and over I felt God challenging me to surrender and trust Him. He told me to trust through speakers at conferences, financial week during Rooted and the opportunities He presented along the way.
Over the last 6 months God has been working on my heart and the way I view money. He told me in many different ways that it isn’t mine and that I NEED to trust Him. During the strongholds week in Rooted I felt like I finally broke free of the anxiety and control that had a hold on me. I left unsure if anything had changed but the following week at our meeting I realized that I hadn’t had anxiety once since. I was excited but cautiously optimistic that it wouldn’t return.
My fiancé and I hadn’t been tithing because we were so worried about having enough. We gave generously of our time but held on tightly to our money. I went home and after a little convincing we decided that it didn’t matter, we just had to trust that God would provide. As an act of faith we restarted our monthly giving. A few days later was the Fearless campaign and we were challenged to give on top of what we had already tithed. It was scary but again we kept reminding ourselves “trust He will provide” and gave anyway. That was the first time I said those words and actually believed them. I had real faith in His provision for the first time ever. I somehow just knew we would be ok and felt peace for the first time in years.
During that week following Fearless God proved me right. We received tax returns larger than expected, we received unexpected income and my fiancé’s parents gifted us money for the wedding. It felt like validation and God celebrating with me this breakthrough in my faith. I am so much happier and at peace after listening to God’s call and knowing with 100% certainty the power of faith in Him. Best of all, I’m anxiety free.